What happens when you ask a blogger friend to do a post on wedding series for your blog?
You not only get a detailed description of the wedding rituals, but you also get picture perfect moments captured flawlessly.
I coudn't get any luckier, when Shreya of Bric-A-Brac agreed to do a guest post for So-Saree and shared the details of her special day with us. So make way for the Queen of India Kitch.. Shreya Jhunjhunwala.
There is a reason why Suraj Barjatya choose Marwari Weddings as a
backdrop for many of his movies. Marwari weddings really are Big Fat
Indian Weddings in the true sense with their opulent outfits, grandiose
decor, song and dance and the yummy, yummy food.
Behind the
shiny facade however, the main focus of a Marwari wedding are the
elaborate rituals. And there are lots of them.To summarize them all in
one post would be nearly impossible for me as I do not even remember the
small ones but I will try to outline the main ones that I do remember
and cherish for So-Saree Readers.
The wedding began with my husband arriving with his 'baraat' at the
wedding venue with the traditional Band-Baaja where my immediate family
was waiting to greet him and the baraatis with refreshments. My husband
was given a neem stick with which he hit a small idol of Ganeshji at the
top of the entrance. He then proceeded to the stage for the Varmala. My
mother steps onto the stage to do his 'Aarti' and 'Tilak'. My bhabhi's
then stepped onto the stage to do his tilak and apply Kohl to his eyes.
After this,I am escorted to the venue under a 'Phoolon ka
Chaadar'(Blanket of flowers) by my brothers and a few sisters
follow. Hubby appears to be teary eyed about how pretty I look but I am
later told that is the kohl which he is not used to. We exchange the
varmalas in the traditional fashion which is a considerable task since I
am about 5" shorter even after my heels and a higher stool.
After the Varmala,we had the reception and High Tea. Traditionally, the
reception happens after the wedding but mine was before as we had a
later 'mahurat'(auspicious time) for the Pheras. After a lot of
pictures, I had some free time so I could rest in my bridal suite while
my husband started with some ceremonies where I was not required.
After around half an hour or so, I was called to join my husband at
the mandap for the wedding rituals. At the mandap, the 'Ganthi-Bandhan'
takes place. Here,the priest ties the red cloth around my husbands waist
to a chunni which is placed around my shoulders. A holy thread with a
sathiya is also tied around my forehead.
This is followed by
the 'Paanigrahan' ceremony where my father places my hand over my
husbands.This signifies the union of the bride and groom and the promise
to always support each other through good and times. After this a cloth
is placed over our hands (I guess to give our hands some 'privacy) while
the priest chants some 'mantras' which we repeat after him.
After this we begin the 'pheras' in which we circle the holy fire while
the priest recites the mantras. In a Marwari wedding, we have only four
pheras and saat vachan.The rest three pheras are taken in different ways
according to different castes. Some brides take it along with their
maama(uncle) and the groom at the entrance after the varmaala, while some
like me take it after they have their first child.
At the beginning of each phera, my brothers pass a handful of
puffed rice onto our joined hands which we offer to the fire. This
symoblises the brother wish for well-being of their sister in her new
life. After each phera, I put my foot over a grinding stone to symbolise
the bride's courage to face the challenges of life. After each phera,the
bride and groom make two 'vachans' other. Some of the 'vachans' are quite
redundant in todays times but I have listed them for you.
1)Every woman other than than his wife will be like a sister or
mother to the groom. Every man other than her husband will be like a
brother or father to the Bride.
2)The Husband is supposed to take his wife along for any auspicious task and religious pilgrimages.
3)The
bride is supposed and respect and care for the husbands parents like
her own and groom has to care and respect the brides parents as his own.
4)The
husband has to give a record of all the household finances to his wife
and not spend irresponsibly. He should spend money taking in
consideration the needs of the whole family.
5)It is the duty of the husband to provide for his family as It is the duty of the wife to provide for the house.
6)The
husband and wife vow to raise their children with good morals and
practice good moral themselves.They should welcome all guests and try to
be calm and righteous.
7)After taking all these vachans, the
husband asks the final vachan of the wife. He asks the wife to always
follow his advice and trust in him.
After this,the wedding is considered complete and my father performed
the 'kanyadaan' or the ceremonial giving away the bride by her parents. A
silver coin is placed on mine and my husbands hand by my father as he
offered my hand to him in marriage. I then moved over to the left side of
my husband signifying the shift to his heart from my parents. The final
'Sindurdaan' ceremony is performed in which he applies 'sindur' or
'vermillion' to the center parting of my hair which the most important
sign of a married woman. Some of the sindur falls on my nose which is
considered very lucky but make my photos a bit funny.
After a break and dinner, several smaller rituals are performed. During
the 'sargunthi',my husbands buas and sisters welcome me to their family
by adorning my hair and changing my 'nath'(nosering). Red and green
bangles are placed in my hand by my mother-in-law. My Father-in-law gave
me a pouch of 'chillad' or loose change to signify the acceptance of
household responsibilities. My husband was taken to a new seat where he
was given envelopes in exchange of witty compliments and quotes for the
women of my family. We also play 'Jua' (Gambling) which are a few fun
games to determine who will be more dominant one.
The last and final ritual is the 'Vidai' where I prepared to leave
the mandap along with my husband to his home. Along with the emotions
running high and lots of tears,I also get a lot of envelopes full of
money. We then leave in a car decorated full of flowers to our happily
ever after. :)
There are several rituals even
after we get home and in the morning but I'm assuming you have had
enough of these for one post. Hope you enjoyed reading about my wedding
and a huge shout-out to Aditi for letting me relive the most cherished
day of my life!
Thank you so much Shreya, I am so thankful to you for this wonderful post.